Where am I right now?
by aza004
Summary: "I'm fine." she said with one small, forced smile. It must've fooled anybody but not Raiga, he knew her long enough to tell if she's lying or not. [Oneshot]


**a/n: i'm back again with another drabble****!.. (´,,•ω•,,`)ｷｭﾝ**

**how friggin' excited i am for the upcoming anime for God Eater..i saw a promotional video for GE's pachinko slot which i assume that the clips that they were showing back there were actual clips from the anime..*fingers crossed*..the news that i'm really itching for right now is when is the anime gonna be?anyways..**

**Disclaimer: Never did I own the God Eater series. Only my OC, Tadashi Raiga.**

* * *

><p>With another low grumble, he rolled on his side. This is probably the sixth time Raiga did in the last hour or so. Waking up in the middle of the night is a bit normal for him but ever since he came back from a mission five days ago, there are instances that he just couldn't succeed on falling asleep. There is a part of him nagging him not to, especially when he knows that <em>she <em>is here and most probably sitting and huddled into a ball beside his doorstep is getting on his nerves.

He've told Alisa a couple of times that she's welcome anytime, main reason that he never locks his door aside from giving her the code. If she did decide to linger in his room, they'll have small talks, just enjoying each other's presence were enough for the two of them but he can tell something was off on the silver haired Russian ever since the last mission.

He only knew a minor detail about the mission being a simple clearing up job. Raiga already asked Kota and Erina if they knew something but as per the two when they came by, Alisa was done on her end. Having a Dyaus Pita and at least ten Ogretails laying on the ground, all lifeless and were already starting to erode . Both didn't miss to hear Alisa's scream before her line got cut off from communication that made them rushing over.

She's been awfully odd after that, Raiga can obviously tell. The looks that she gives almost to everybody seems to be distant, she forces her smile when they talk, she's not even that sociable as she used to. He already asked if there's something wrong or bugging her mind and Alisa just shrug it off.

"I'm fine." she said with one small, forced smile. It must've fooled anybody but not Raiga, he knew her long enough to tell if she's lying or not.

He felt aggravated. He felt like she shut him out. How can she say that she's fine while in the depth of her eyes he can tell that she's not? After all that they've faced together, she still doesn't trust him enough?

* * *

><p>Glancing on the digital clock on his nightstand, he read: "2:52 a.m." his voice barely audible. With a grit of his teeth, he stood up. He just couldn't take it anymore. Muttering something about getting answers this time as he made his way.<p>

A yawn escapes from Raiga as his bedroom door slides open. With tired eyes glancing in south-west's direction, he frowned. In normal circumstances, he'll probably give one of his widest smiles right now. Seeing that she dons the pajamas that Sakuya bought for her birthday and thought that it looks "cute and comfortable", in pastel pink and had a number of rabbits printed on the sleepwear.

"Alisa." Raiga called. He was right with the speculation of picturing Alisa huddled up beside his doorstep.

Said girl looked up with sleepy half-lidded eyes, not to mention the bags that surrounds it. Before Alisa even snapped out of her daze, Raiga grabbed her wrist and dragged her inside his room.

"Something wrong?" she asked, using her sleeve in attempt to rub the sleep out from her face.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?!" Raiga hissed as he locks his door, his hand has no intention of letting her go. Taking a deep breath "Now.." he turned her so that Alisa's back is facing the wall. His eyes narrowing at the shocked expression on her face.

"I want you to tell me what's wrong." Raiga demanded, his hands firmly grasping her shoulders and pushing her against the wall. With eyes never meeting his, she let out a small nervous laugh. "Give me a proper answer, I know something's wrong." he added his body leaning closer to hers.

"I really am an open book to you right now I suppose." Alisa sighed. "This is no big deal." still refusing to look at him in the eye.

Gritting his teeth "Either you answer or I'll force myself to find out." Raiga almost snarled but he calmed himself after her eyes flicked a tinge of fear. His voice coming out softly this time "How can it be not a big deal if you're isolating yourself?"_ 'Again.'_ He wanted to add.

"I-.." She slowly looked up to him. Hesitation still spreads across Alisa's face as her eyes met Raiga's gaze. But Alisa looked down immediately, having no intention of prolonging their eye contact. With quivering lips "I'm sorry." she whispered.

* * *

><p>"Is this has something to do with your last mission?" his eyes squinting when he saw her bit her lip before nodding. Sighing, he lessen the gap between their bodies when he pulled her closer. His arms wrapping around Alisa's smaller frame when she rests her head on his chest. "I'm always all ears Alisa. How many times do I need to tell you that?" he felt her hands gripping his shirt.<p>

"I wasn't fast enough Raiga." Alisa's voice cracked. "There were two of them. I saw them, they looked at me. It was written all over in their eyes that they were desperately pleading me to help them, both of them fearing death." by this time, her whole body starts to tremble. "I ran as fast as I could, threw a stun grenade and fired the fastest bullet that I've got. Still-.."

"It's alright." Raiga whispered on her ear as he tightened his arms around her. "Almost all of us had that kind of experience, I told you that it happened to me once correct?"

"I'm scared." Alisa's breath hitched. "I don't want them to look at me with those eyes again. Full of loathe and rejection. I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happen again after the incident with Lindow. I failed." letting the tears fall down, with Raiga not minding the moist forming on his shirt. "It all happened in a blink of an eye." looking upto Raiga with eyes still filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I-..I tried my-" she stopped to choke back her sobbing.

He gave a reassuring smile, hands cupping Alisa's cheeks. Using his thumbs to wipe away the tears he spoke "Come on, it's fine. You don't need to worry about that."

"I don't know." her eyes gazing down, biting her lip once again.

"I can promise you this, you'll have one person who will surely not look at you that way for a reason like that. You did your best that you can, that's what matters to me." he sighed. "But..I can still see that there's still something bugging you." his words making her flinch, seeing how she still hesitates on looking at him straight in the eye.

Taking a deep breath, she started "My nightmares are getting worse." lifting a hand to held his for comfort. "The day how my parents died is still tolerable for me. But adding how the two innocent died before my very eyes in my recent clear-up..how two unpleasant happenings plays all over and over my head drives me to the point that I don't want to sleep anymore." Alisa looked upto him. "What came after that was something I wasn't able to bear." with tears threatening to fall once again.

"Breathe." Raiga whispered. Leaning his forehead into hers, his hands still caressing the sobbing girl's face.

Raiga just stood in silence as she cried, how it pained him to see her like this. Sure, he could just use Resonance if he wants to but he gets her to talk right now, that's enough reason for him not to. It is painful for the both of them, how Raiga hated seeing tears not from happiness streaming down her face and how Alisa would recall all those unwanted images from her memories and constant nightmares. The blue haired male just doesn't know if he can even stop himself before she vents it all out. Fighting the urge to keep her close and give her the comfort that she needs right now.

* * *

><p>"You.." finally calming down, with cheeks feeling sore because she felt like Raiga's hands were glued to them. "I dreamt of you dying in front of me Raiga." wiping her own tears, unaware how Raiga's heart almost stopped from beating. "It's horrid enough that I didn't want to tell you how it happened." laughing dryly. "Call me selfish but I fear your death above everyone else. I feel that if I lose you, I'll lose everything in this world." he can still see the fear in her eyes. "I don't know. I might even break if that were to happen- Ow, owow..thath hurth!" the girl started wincing after Raiga pinched her left cheek and giving it a pull.<p>

"I think that's enough, I get it now." Raiga heaved a sigh, he just couldn't take it anymore. At least he knew why she's spending the night beside his doorstep. When he heard that she was afraid of losing him was all the answer that he needs. "Tell me." blue eyes looking directly at the eyes in the amethyst shade. "Where am I right now?"

Alisa raised a brow out of confusion. "I don't think that question makes sen- Stoph ith!" whining out of protest when her right cheek was given the same earlier treatment.

"Where. Am. I?" Raiga more like demands rather than asking .

"Right here..with me." she almost whispered.

"Exactly." he smiled, giving Alisa a kiss in the forehead. "I'm here in front of you right now, you don't have to be afraid." arms wrapping around her once again. "I'm not going down that easily, remember that. Cause I know that I have someone to go back to."

Returning the hug and clutching the back of Raiga's shirt "Can you even hear the words you are saying?"

Rolling his eyes "Yeah. Not someone that has a flowery tongue, I know." Raiga snorted as he rest his chin atop of her head. "Right now, you can see me, you can hear my voice and you can feel my touch. No matter what, you'll never be alone. Remember that."

"Thanks." she smiled. "I almost forgot how it soothes me whenever I'm with you." Alisa snuggled closer to the male. "We should do something about this head of mine don't you think?"

Letting out a small chuckle "We'll go and see Sakuya once you get some rest, I have a hunch that you haven't slept properly these past few days." Raiga scooped Alisa out of her feet who squeaked in surprise.

* * *

><p>"I think.." pulling up the covers as Raiga lay down in bed on his side. "You're getting spoiled." he said, looking at her directly.<p>

"Am I?" Alisa replied. "You brought this to yourself if you ask me." a small grin made its way to her features. "That's why I never knocked, I didn't want to bother."

His lips formed a small pout. "You're mere presence is disturbing enough. Next time you kept quiet about something like that trust me, I'll drag you back into your own room." earning a small laugh from the girl who moved closer.

Leaning on the male's shoulder "Hey." Alisa started.

"Hmm?" Raiga responded as he wraps an arm around her waist.

"You know how children's fairytales had their so called 'Happily Ever After.'?" Alisa looked upto him with a smile, making him feel the heat rise up to his cheeks. "After Mommy and Daddy died, I always believed that they're just make-up writings that never happens in real life. But when you came.." she stopped and gave him a kiss on the cheek, ignoring the flush tinting her own cheeks due to her action. "It gave me the thought that I wouldn't mind playing as a damsel in distress as long as you'll play the role of my savior." lifting a hand to caress the side of his face when she saw a bit of bewilderment on his eyes. "My fear of losing you made me forget that I already have my own 'Knight in Shining Armor' that will always come and save me in my time of need."

"I'm flattered that a princess such as you will look up to me that way." Raiga laughed, snuggling closer. "I do find that it's appropriate for me and the princess to get some rest, don't you think?" his lips making contact with her forehead playfully.

Finding herself comfortable, Alisa buried her face on the crook of his neck "Sounds nice, still pretty exhausted actually." she sighed. "Mind if-..if I stay here every night until I get better? I don't know, I just..wanted you close." her hand gripping the fabric of his shirt.

"If that will help you stop lurking at my doorstep at night then I'm fine." he laughed.

Raiga could feel his eyes slowly dropping from the sound of Alisa's steady breathing. How long has it been since she fell asleep? He can never really tell. When he let out a big yawn, he immediately dropped his own question as he lets himself drift into sleep. The way he has her arms around her both reflects his over protectiveness and slight possessiveness to Alisa. He just hope that holding her close will help prevent nightmares from haunting her sleep.

* * *

><p>Was it already eight, ten hours that he's been sleeping? Does he even care right now if he was? No obviously. The bundle of warmth that's leaning it's weight on his side has the same intention of not getting up any minute now so, why bother getting out of the make-shift cocoon.<p>

Cracking an eye open, Raiga couldn't help but to smile when soft, silver locks obscure his vision. This was probably the longest, nicest sleep she had these past days. Burying his face on her hair as he held the girl tighter, he was certainly enjoying his position right now. With a smile getting wider when he was able to whiff her sweet scent, Raiga decided to close his eyes again until-

"Dude! It's way past noon! How long are you planning to stick your butt in here-" it was Kota who yanked off the covers. "Ohh.." he stopped when his eyes landed on the silver haired God Eater sleeping peacefully in Raiga's arms. "Sorry." his voice lower this time.

"Do you mind?" Raiga snapped at him with an irritated look, pulling the blanket from Kota's grasp. Almost forgetting the fact that his best friend also know the pass code to open his door in case that he had his room locked.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Kota let out a nervous laugh "I'm not interrupting anything right?"

"Interrupting me to go back to sleep again? Yes." Raiga hissed, thankful that at the same time Alisa hasn't woke up yet. Laying down again and making sure that his movements will not stir the girl from sleep, he pulled up the covers above their heads before muttering "Give me a couple more hours."

_'More like an 'us' not 'me' if I would say.' _the orange haired male thought with a faint smile. "Okay." he shrugged. "But don't blame me if rations ran out." he turned on his heel. "I'll also tell Erina not to worry too much, the kid's getting frantic when she saw Alisa's room empty and can't find her anywhere." chuckling as he opened the door, seeing how Raiga attempts a thumbs up under the covers. "Later." finally stepping out of the room.

Heaving a sigh when the door a finger pointed at the door "No need to worry. Told you she's there." glancing at the younger God Eater.

Letting out the breath she didn't know she was holding, Erina felt the relief wash all over her. "Thank goodness."

"Next time you find her missing, this is probably the first place you should look for." Kota shoved his hands into his pockets before walking away with a smile, gesturing the girl to follow him.

"I'll keep the tip in mind." trailing behind her superior. With eyes still fixed on the floor, she felt a hand giving her a pat in the head. Making Erina stop on her tracks.

"If you're thinking about last time, drop it off. She'll probably tell you soon enough." Kota said as he gave another pat.

"You sound like you're certain that she wouldn't shut everyone off." Erina scoffed.

"I just know." he shrugged. "Raiga's probably the best person who knows how to handle Alisa if she's not acting 'normal'. She can't resists his charms." Kota's laugh going to a stop noticing the glare Erina is giving him. "Okay." he sighed. "That wasn't a good one."

"You know something do you?" Erina asked, eyes narrowing to slits.

"Well." Kota's eyes looked up to avoid her gaze and continues on walking their path. "Now that I think about it, nope. I know nothing." flashing a wide grin at the younger girl trailing behind him. "Come on." he reached a hand out and playfully giving her a ruffle in the head. "If she shuts Sakuya and Raiga off, that's the time you should really worry." Kota couldn't help to let out a laugh when Erina whined from his grasp.

"Trust me about this." he said in a weak voice, in which Erina assumes that it's being directed to her. No words were spoken after that, no matter how much she hated being left in the dark Erina don't really have a choice right now. Even if Kota is the leader of their group, the fact that Kota made a little research of his own behind her back irritates her. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind and cease all the worrying she had in the last few days while telling herself _'She'll be fine.'_

* * *

><p><strong>an: i have a strong feeling that i made Erina somewhat OOC in here..i really have no idea on her personallity since i haven't played GE2 to be honest so, gomen if i did..until next time!..i do hope it wouldn't be that long..reviews are appreciated btw..thanks in advance. :D**

_**_aza**_


End file.
